How to Write a Eulogy

Dec 06, 2023

"The writing and reading of a eulogy is, above all, the simple and elegant search for small truths. This can be surprisingly hard, to take notice of the smallest, most unpolished details of a life and set them up for us to stare at in the wonder of recognition."

—Tom Chiarella, "How to Give a Eulogy"

How do you begin writing a eulogy? Editor Carol DeChant explains, "Obituaries are usually mini-biographies, focused on what a person did, but the eulogy is much deeper, more about who the person was...It's meant for the select group of people who knew and cared for that person, or who care for the survivors."

Eulogy Writing Guide

Having a eulogy writing outline or guide can be very helpful. The first and most important step in writing a eulogy is gathering information about the person and deciding what should and should not be included in the passage. The writer should share personal memories of the individual, but should also consider including the memories of their other loved ones. Having more peoples' perspectives will highlight the individuality of the deceased. Once memories have been decided on for sharing, the writer must craft the beginning, middle, and end of the eulogy.

Introduction

Expression of sadness
Life accomplishments, family background, and career information
What the individual meant to those who knew them

Details

Details about their life journey
Include stories from loved ones

Conclusion

Conclude with a quote about how the deceased affected those around them or make a connection to a story or memory that was told earlier on in the eulogy to close

Helpful Suggestions to Write a Eulogy

Christina Ianzito, in "How to Write a Eulogy," offers these suggestions; many of them come from Garry Schaeffer's book, A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy :

Outline the eulogy. In addition to helping you stay focused, an outline will keep your eulogy organized and effectively break down the task of writing into manageable pieces.
Ask for the input of other family members and friends. They may be able to provide you with some great stories to share.
Always try to share examples of the statements you make about your loved one. If you want to say, "she was generous with her time," tell a story that supports the statement.
Do not focus too much on yourself. After all, this isn't a eulogy for you; keep your writing focused on your loved one. You may even want to ask others to read your first draft to make sure the focus is in the right place.
Go for the humor. Shared laughter is a very healing experience so don't be afraid to make people laugh.
Write the first draft. Don't fuss over every word; just get your ideas on paper.
Put it aside for a while. This has, no doubt, been an emotional experience. Take some time away from the writing desk to get perspective and release stress or sorrow.
Come back to edit and polish. This is the time to refine the eulogy into its final form.

Print a legible copy of the eulogy, in a large font, to assist in the delivery of your well-chosen words. There's nothing worse than not being able to read your handwriting when you're standing in front of a crowd of people.
Eulogy Outline

Use this eulogy outline to ensure you are including all of the most important information in your loved one's eulogy:

Introduce yourself and describe your relationship with the deceased individual.
Make note of the qualities that you and your loved ones found most prominent in the individual. This will set the tone for the remainder of the eulogy.
Beginning from their birth, share details about their childhood and family life. Highlight their goals, admirations, and relationships with their loved ones.
Tell stories of their life journey. Don’t forget to include their accomplishments (education, career, family, etc.).
If one of your family members have a story about the individual that would tie back into the original qualities you mentioned at the start of the speech, repeat it to the congregation.
Finally, finish the eulogy by quoting a beautiful literary passage. It could be a piece that the individual loved or one that reminds you of them.

Delivering a Eulogy

Unless you're a seasoned public speaker, delivering a eulogy can be a scary, emotionally-trying time. It is recommended that you:

Take your time with the delivery.
Breathe deeply.
Stay relaxed.
Take regular sips of water.

If you have any doubts about your ability to perform in front of an audience, consider appointing a back-up person to fill in for you. Or, you may ask someone else to take over the duty of reading the eulogy aloud on your behalf.

"Giving a eulogy is good for you," says author, Tom Chiarella. "It may hurt to write it. And reading it? For some, that's the worst part. The world might spin a little, and everything familiar to you might fade for a few minutes. But remember, remind yourself as you stand there, you are the lucky one. And that's not because you aren't dead. You were selected. You get to stand, face the group, the family, the world, and add it up. You're being asked to do something at the very moment when nothing can be done. You get the last word in the attempt to define the outlines of a life."

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

A eulogy is one of the most important facets of a funeral or memorial service. It is important to keep this in mind when writing a eulogy. Although you may be worried about consuming too much time in the service, you should not cut out any of the important details. The eulogy paints a picture of the deceased individual through storytelling and memory sharing. Do not rush the process, as this eulogy will have an impact on those in attendance for a long time.

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Estate Settlement

06 Dec, 2023

Estate Settlement Sometimes estate settlement is one of the hardest aspects of dealing with the death of a family member. This doesn't have to be the case if proper preparation of all estate documents took place prior to the death. If you have the services of an experienced estate lawyer at your disposal, there can be even less worry and strife. What is Probate? Probate: the official proving of a will. The probate process is intended to establish the legal validity of a will but it involves so much more than merely confirming that the signed, witnessed, and registered copy of a will is authentic. The Probate Process In addition to proving in a court of law that the deceased individual's will is valid, probate also declares the probate process also involves: Identifying and inventorying the deceased's personal and real property Having the property appraised Paying debts and taxes Distributing the remaining property as the will (or if there is no will, then state law) directs What Happens When There is No Will? When someone dies without leaving a dated, signed and properly witnessed will, the court decides who should receive the deceased's assets. It won't matter what your familial relationships were really like; the state will award property and cash to the survivors based solely on their legal relationship to the deceased. This is called dying "intestate". Generally only spouses, common-law spouses, and blood relatives inherit under intestate succession laws. All this can be avoided, if you take care of things ahead of time. When you leave documents that clearly state who you wish to get your property and cash after you die, you better support your survivors in coming to terms with your death without leaving them with a lot of unnecessary distress. Hiring an Attorney Losing a loved one can be an overwhelming experience and when you add in estate settlement issues, the months following the death can be much more than we bargained for. That's when it might be advantageous to hire an attorney. When faced with this situation, it's best to turn to the experts in estate settlement.

Legal Advice

06 Dec, 2023

The death of a loved one can mean that you will need to find an attorney to help with the process of estate settlement. While it isn't necessary to have an attorney prepare an advance directive, it can be advantageous to have one prepare your will or any other estate-related documents. We have some suggestions to help you find the best attorney to provide the kind of legal services you need: Think specialization. You don't need just any attorney; you're looking for someone with experience in a particular aspect of the law. Ask around. There's nothing like a personal referral from someone you trust. Talk to friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors to see if they can recommend an attorney with the right expertise. Get in touch with the local Bar Association. It will have directory of all practicing lawyers in your area. Visit legal aid websites. These organizations can provide you with trusted referrals and legal consultation services. The Next Step in Getting Legal Help At this point, you should have a list of four or five recommended local attorneys. Now it's time to make that first call. You should first ask to set up a face-to-face meeting but be aware that many attorneys charge for this introductory session. That's why your first question should be: "Do you charge for the initial visit?" If you do agree to a face-to-face meeting, it's important to ask the following questions but be observant too. Look around: is the office organized? Is he or she listening closely to what you have to say? What is your gut feeling to what you're seeing and hearing? Trust your intuition; if you don't feel you are a good match, then move on to the next attorney on your list. The questions to ask in your initial interview are: Do you specialize in my type of case? Do you have any special credentials? Exactly who will handle my case; the attorney or a paralegal? Who will be my point-of-contact? What's the preferred way to communicate with your office? Will I be billed for phone calls and email correspondence with either the attorney or staff? How will I be informed about any progress in my case? How will fees be calculated? Hourly, contingency, or flat fee? If I will be billed hourly, will I be required to pay for portions of an hour? What expenses am I responsible for? How often can I expect to receive a bill? Is advance payment required? What happens to that money if I terminate the case before it's resolved? Will I receive copies of all documents pertaining to my case? When you're satisfied you've found the right attorney at the right price, always ask for a written agreement and read it thoroughly. If you have questions about what you've read, ask them before you sign.

How to Write an Obituary

06 Dec, 2023

Obituaries are used to inform those who know an individual of their passing. They should give the reader an idea of who the person was in a brief yet detailed passage. Whether you have been tasked with writing an obituary for a loved one or you are assisting a family member who has been chosen to write one, it is very useful to know how to write an obituary. What's involved in writing a good obituary? That's really the first thing you have to think about when sitting down to write one for a spouse, other family members, or a close friend. Exactly what factual information should it include and how can you find a balance between dry facts and engaging storytelling? We have the answers to those questions and hope you will find this information about how to write an obituary helpful. On this page, you will find a list of all the details you should keep in mind when writing the story of a loved one. From essentials such as birth date and surviving family members to notable interests or passions they had, it is important to include every possible detail in the obituary. Use the section below as a guideline for your obituary outline.